Thursday, July 2, 2009

Parties and Partisanship

Seriously. I am sick of the party thing. It's so incredibly stupid.

Yes, I know, I'm launching right into my rant. This is bound to be a rant, so bear with me.

There are two major parties in the United States of America- the Democrats, and the Republicans. Or, as I prefer to label them as, the Demoblicans and the Republicrats. I'm going to explain why I call them that, and why I think they deserve it.

For starters, let me make a comparison between our current culture of "he started it, she started it."

Think back to a playground. We have two little three-year olds. One three year old throws dirt in the other's face. Well, one bad turn deserves another, so the one who had dirt thrown in his face responds accordingly- by throwing dirt in the face of the kid who did it originally. They then delve into a round of "He started it, no he did, no HE did..." and the process continues until finally, both of them are taken away by their respective mothers.

What, might you ask, does this have to do with our partisan politics? Quite a lot, actually.

I have no idea who originally began the cycle, but I know that now, we can't get out of it. Or, at least, we've fooled ourselves into thinking we can't.

For one thing, each party blames the other for...well, everything since the Fall of Man. If something goes wrong in the economy, according to the Democrats, it's the Republican's fault, and according to the Republicans, it's the Democrat's fault.

Both say the other is messing the country over, and we are all going to explode/the jihadists will take over/Israel will kill us/Ann Coulter will go waaay over the top (again) if the other party gets in.

Is anyone besides me seeing that this is kind of...pointless? And stupid?

With Democrats, everything is President Bush's fault. In fact, I think some of them could actually, in all honesty, attempt to pin the Peloponnesian War on him. With Republicans, everything is President Obama's fault, or Frank's fault, or it's the fault of the first Democrat they see. Some of them try to pin every conceivable conflict/plague/depression/famine since the beginning of time on him.

So...what are we doing again?

Both parties say the other party is control of the media, brainwashing our children and corrupting them into either pro-homosexuality or pro-Creationism, depending on which side you're on.

Yeah, that makes sense.

Both sides try to make the other out to be some sort of monster. If they're Democrats, they're gay-loving, baby-killing, Israel-hating crazies. If they're Republicans, they're gay-bashing, black-hating, anti-woman, anti-rights crazies.

So, I think it's safe to say that both side has plenty of crazies!

Yet, if you really get down to it, the parties are really not that different. I mean, we have...the Democrats who love big business, stimulus, and money, all the while professing to be for the blue-collar worker, and claiming the other side has all the elites and money.

On the other side, we have the Republicans who love big business, stimulus, and money, all the while professing to be for the blue-collar worker, and claiming the other side has all the elites and money.

Yeah, not much difference that I can see.

So, now you know why I call them Demoblicans and Republicrats. Enjoy. ;)


Megan said...

You have perfectly conveyed exactly what I think about the majority of politics. I grow so tired of all the mud-slinging and name-calling. It is TOTALLY childish, like you said, and its unproductive.

I totally loved this post!!!! :D

choco38 said...


Can't disagree with you on much of this! And I can see how there isn't a lot of difference between parties from a strict Libertarian view. But I guarantee you there is a huge difference, at least in philosophy if not in practice.