Monday, May 4, 2009

To Streamline Government

President Obama has stated that he wishes to 'streamline' government. Well, here's my plan to 'streamline' government.

On the President's to-do list:

  1. Get a list of all government programs.
  2. Call in the heads of those programs.
  3. Get a red pen.
  4. Sit down and cross out all unnecessary or ineffective programs. Medicare/Medicaid, welfare, etc. come to mind here.
  5. Dismiss the program heads, giving each a copy of the 'help wanted' section of the newspaper on their ways out.
  6. Get a list of all goverment departments.
  7. Call in the heads of those departments.
  8. Get your red pen again.
  9. Sit down and cross out all unnecessary or ineffective departments. The Department on Aging, the Department of Education, etc. come to mind.
  10. Dismiss the department officials, and give them 'help wanted' papers, as well.
  11. Get a list of all incoming bills.
  12. Get that red pen.
  13. Veto all bills that are not expressly Constitutional, any that have pork, any that will trespass on state's rights, and any that are just plain useless.
  14. Get a new Congress.
  15. Call a special meeting of Congress.
  16. Get a copy of the Constitution.
  17. Read it out loud- ALL of it- to the entire Congress.
  18. Have a answer session. You know the drill- the 'teacher' asks questions, and the 'kids' answer. Right answers are awarded with candy, wrong answers are awarded by a blank stare.
  19. Congress members must recite- from memory- what their powers are.
  20. If they fail, they can reread it- once- and then try again.
  21. Once they suceed, they are given more candy.
  22. This will be repeated no less than once a month.
  23. Keep that red pen handy.

Voila ladies and gentlemen!