Stop Breathing!

Do YOUR part to Help the Environment!!

Stop exhaling for two hours daily! This will reduce your carbon footprint, and get rid of those horrible pollutants, like CO2!!

Remember, just two hours every day!!

Yeah. That's about as ridiculous as this article. Guess what? CO2 has been officially declared a pollutant.

How is something the entire world breathes out every second a pollutant? Plants breathe the stuff, so it's not like it's just hanging in the air.

And how are we going to reduce our CO2 emissions?

Well....

They don't know. Maybe that (hilarious) wonderful invention, the CO2 scrubber!!

Here's a quick overview of the CO2 scrubber: It's basically a filter that pulls CO2 out of the air (as the operators are breathing out CO2...) and puts it in a tank. To be stored. Somewhere.

Where are they going to store it?

Uh....

Under the ground somewhere. Or maybe in a lake. Of course, then, the CO2 might compress, causing a huge explosion and suffocation to anyone that was nearby, but that's OK. After all, we're helping the environment.

Yeah. We're helping the trees by taking away their air. Just so that our lungs can be overtaxed by too much oxygen.

Another thing- why are 'greenhouse gases' bad?

I mean, let's think about this.

What is the purpose of a greenhouse? To grow things, right? Well, what happens if we don't have those 'greenhouse gases'?

Guess what? (*drumroll*) Things will cease to grow!! I mean, that's just simple logic, right?

Not, apparently, according to our Environmental 'Protection' Agency, and our dear President Obama.

Let us end with this beautiful little gemstone from the article: "The proposal, once finalized, will give E.P.A. far more responsibility than addressing climate change. It effectively will assign E.P.A. broad authority over the use and control of energy, in turn authorizing it to regulate virtually every sector of the economy."

Oh joy.