Indolence is my shepherd, I shall not want, for unemployment insurance is with me.
My apathy maketh me to lie down before the TV, I am led through all you-can-eat buffets.
Commercials restoreth my appetite, they lead me in the way of gullibility for profits' sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of responsibility, I shall fear nothing uncomfortable, for the government is with me; their rhetoric and promises they comfort me.
I preparest a table in the presence of my TV, I anointest mine head with a pillow, my cup runneth over for my belly's sake.
Surely good living and willful ignorance will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in a state of euphoria all the days of my life (hopefully).